5 more signs he’s not ready for a relationship
He may seem like everything you’ve been looking for. But here are 5 more signs he’s not ready for a real relationship.
You may be smitten with your new boo. But you should still be on the lookout for some red flags. They may be hard to spot without help, but there are some not so subtle signs your guy just isn’t ready for the real thing. Here are 5 more signs he’s not ready for a relationship.
1. He has a super long list
Having a long “list” is OK. Having a super long list detailing the ins and outs of every action, every thought and every inch of his ideal woman’s body is a bad sign. It means not only that he is inflexible, but is also likely controlling. He’s not interested in being or growing with a real person. With someone whose personality, values and body might change through the years. He wants a cardboard cutout that fits perfectly into his world like a puzzle piece. A world with ridged edges and completely of his making.
2. He’s a serial dater
Having many prior relationships isn’t necessarily bad. But if things always seem to fizzle out after a few weeks there are a few issues to consider. He may choose to date people based purely on looks or convenience, thus getting bored easily after the novelty has worn off. He may be commitment phobic and leave before things get too deep. Or he just may not know how to keep things exciting after the puppy love phase has worn off.
In any case, you’re probably dealing with someone who doesn’t know why his relationships don’t last. If he doesn’t know what’s wrong he can’t fix it. And if he hasn’t broken the pattern by the time he gets to you he’s not likely to suddenly figure it out.
3. He hasn’t learn from his past
Likewise, a man who continues to make the same relationship mistakes and doesn’t learn from his past is a bad bet in love. There is something to take away from every relationship. Every breakup. Every date even. If he’s not learning from his experiences he’s going to take you round and round in circles and never move forward to something better with you.
4. He has no plans for the future
If he’s not in school, working to save up for school, learning on his own, or charting his career path in any way he’s not ready for a relationship. People like this are called “floaters.” And floaters don’t build solid foundations in relationships. With sheer luck and good decisions things may be OK for him in the end. But you’ll never feel totally safe or peaceful about life with this guy.
5. He needs you
To feel good about himself. To pay his bills. To fit in with his friends. Take your pick. A man ready for a relationship wants you. But he shouldn’t need you. He should have a rich full life with or without you. That way he doesn’t need you to do anything. Like be besties with his co-workers. Or occupy his time. Or feel important.
He enjoys you but he doesn’t depend on you. Being needed will inevitably make you feel used smothered. And if you need to feel needed you may have some issues with co-dependence. And you may not be ready for a relationship either!
When it comes to your love life watch out for these warnings. They may dishearten you when you see them, but they’ll save you a lot of grief and heartache in the end.
1. He has a super long list
Having a long “list” is OK. Having a super long list detailing the ins and outs of every action, every thought and every inch of his ideal woman’s body is a bad sign. It means not only that he is inflexible, but is also likely controlling. He’s not interested in being or growing with a real person. With someone whose personality, values and body might change through the years. He wants a cardboard cutout that fits perfectly into his world like a puzzle piece. A world with ridged edges and completely of his making.
2. He’s a serial dater
Having many prior relationships isn’t necessarily bad. But if things always seem to fizzle out after a few weeks there are a few issues to consider. He may choose to date people based purely on looks or convenience, thus getting bored easily after the novelty has worn off. He may be commitment phobic and leave before things get too deep. Or he just may not know how to keep things exciting after the puppy love phase has worn off.
In any case, you’re probably dealing with someone who doesn’t know why his relationships don’t last. If he doesn’t know what’s wrong he can’t fix it. And if he hasn’t broken the pattern by the time he gets to you he’s not likely to suddenly figure it out.
3. He hasn’t learn from his past
Likewise, a man who continues to make the same relationship mistakes and doesn’t learn from his past is a bad bet in love. There is something to take away from every relationship. Every breakup. Every date even. If he’s not learning from his experiences he’s going to take you round and round in circles and never move forward to something better with you.
4. He has no plans for the future
If he’s not in school, working to save up for school, learning on his own, or charting his career path in any way he’s not ready for a relationship. People like this are called “floaters.” And floaters don’t build solid foundations in relationships. With sheer luck and good decisions things may be OK for him in the end. But you’ll never feel totally safe or peaceful about life with this guy.
5. He needs you
To feel good about himself. To pay his bills. To fit in with his friends. Take your pick. A man ready for a relationship wants you. But he shouldn’t need you. He should have a rich full life with or without you. That way he doesn’t need you to do anything. Like be besties with his co-workers. Or occupy his time. Or feel important.
He enjoys you but he doesn’t depend on you. Being needed will inevitably make you feel used smothered. And if you need to feel needed you may have some issues with co-dependence. And you may not be ready for a relationship either!
When it comes to your love life watch out for these warnings. They may dishearten you when you see them, but they’ll save you a lot of grief and heartache in the end.
