Author Georgia D. Lee
  • Home
  • G.D.Lee
  • Articles
    • FamilyShare >
      • All Articles
      • Dating >
        • 5 more signs he’s not ready for a relationship
        • 5 mistakes women make early in dating
        • 6 subtle signs it’s not just about sex (he genuinely loves you!)
        • 7 things a good guy won't let you do
        • 3 ways to help a betrayed man trust you
        • 4 more ways to help a betrayed man trust you
        • 4 good people who can make bad partners
        • 4 signs a shy guy is totally into you
        • 4 tests that will reveal what you are actually looking for in a lover
        • 4 times when ghosting is the right way to date
        • 4 traits that can be both good and bad in love
        • 5 early signs he’s not the right guy
        • 5 good qualities that don’t make him Mr. Right
        • 5 more mistakes women make early in dating
        • 5 more signs he’s totally into you and you’re STILL completely clueless!
        • 5 more signs he's emotionally unavailable
        • 5 qualities you should look for if you want it to work
        • 5 reasons why 'friends with benefits' will never benefit you
        • 5 reasons you still attract crazy people
        • 5 reasons your relationship needs a label
        • 5 signs he’s not ready for a relationship
        • 5 signs he’s totally into you and you’re completely clueless
        • 5 signs he's emotionally unavailable
        • 5 signs you’re having a social affair
        • 5 Signs you’re on a date and don’t know it
        • 5 signs your guy friend is interested in you
        • 5 things cheaters are actually afraid of
        • 5 things men are dying to tell you but don’t know how
        • 5 things real men don’t do
        • 6 signs she doesn’t know if she should date you
        • 6 tips on spotting men who are secretly selfish
        • 7 common compliments that actually make women cringe
        • 7 reasons to make your best friend your boyfriend
        • 7 signs you found a great guy
        • 7 simple compliments women actually love to hear
        • 8 ways opposites have the same love troubles
        • Ask these 5 questions to save you a world of trouble in dating
        • Falling in love can be unexpected
        • Falling in love over laughter
        • The honest truth about dating a friend
        • You'll know it when he shows it
      • Relationship >
        • 3 reasons some stray and others stay
        • 4 business skills that can help your relationship
        • 4 business skills that can sabotage your relationship
        • 4 more signs you’re in a situationship
        • 4 more signs he loves you for all the wrong reasons
        • 4 signs you’re in a situationship
        • 4 times it's OK to lie in your relationship
        • 5 more signs he loves you for all the wrong reasons
        • 5 more signs your guy is not over his ex
        • 5 privacy rules healthy couples naturally follow
        • 5 signs it’s actually your job to propose to your boyfriend
        • 5 signs you need to say 'no' to that surprise proposal
        • 5 signs your guy is not over his ex
        • 5 signs your relationship is poisoning you
        • 5 tips on tech etiquette for couples
        • 5 ways to keep your love alive through fighting
        • 5 types of men you definitely want to marry
        • 6 more secret reasons people cheat
        • 6 more secrets to lasting love
        • 6 secret reasons people cheat
        • 6 secrets to lasting love
        • 6 signs he loves you for all the right reasons
        • 6 signs he loves you for all the wrong reasons
        • 6 things to consider before eloping
        • 6 things you need to cut out of your relationship before it’s over
        • 7 crucial questions to ask before tying the knot
        • 7 signs he’s ready to wed
        • 7 subtle signs you’re in the wrong relationship
        • 10 signs you’re in the right relationship
        • Couples whose love lasts forever agree on these 6 things from the beginning
        • Do your battles become wars These 5 tips will change your life
        • How to settle the score in warzone relationships
      • Marriage >
        • 3 toxic fights that will crumble your marriage
        • 4 disasters that come from marrying a rich man
        • 4 more signs your husband is thinking about divorce
        • 4 rules for a happy single-income home
        • 4 signs you're married but don't really have a husband
        • 4 things you should never do for your husband
        • 5 hidden reasons marriages collapse
        • 5 hidden reasons your hubby isn’t happy
        • 5 legit reasons you’re better off alone than with a cheater
        • 5 lies wives tell themselves about lying to their husbands
        • 5 marriage traditions you need to let go of
        • 5 more signs you're married but don't really have a husband
        • 5 reasons to keep your spouse 1 and the kids 2
        • 5 reasons why you’re to blame for the lies your spouse tells you
        • 5 signs you’re that annoying married friend
        • 5 special days that speak volumes about your marriage
        • 5 things all husbands must know to stay (happily) married
        • 5 things husbands do that make a wife crazy jealous
        • 5 things that are never OK in a marriage
        • 5 things to remember in a lonely marriage
        • 5 things your husband is deathly afraid to tell you
        • 5 types of men who make great second husbands
        • 5 unique marriage quirks that work
        • 5 ways routine is wrecking your marriage
        • 5 ways to cope with your spouse's friends
        • 5 ways to tell if your husband trusts your emotions
        • 6 harmless habits that can shred your marriage to pieces
        • 6 ways to keep your husband emotionally satisfied
        • 7 signs your spouse is controlling you (and you don’t even know it)
        • 7 truths every feminist wife needs her husband to know
        • 8 ways to show your wife that she’s your top priority
        • 10 phrases that are emotionally crippling your wife
        • A kiss a day keeps the marriage counselor away
        • Headed for divorce 4 subtle signs of a struggling marriage
        • How to be a good wife without becoming a doormat
        • How to keep from settling when settling down
        • How to prevent your relationship from going sour
        • How to tell when it's time for marriage counseling
        • Making your marriage compatible even in a mismatch
        • What your husband needs to know about your insecurities
        • Who's really head of the household
      • Family & Parenting >
        • 4 legit reasons you may not admit to wanting kids
        • 4 more reasons you may not admit to wanting kids
        • 5 life lessons you can’t teach your children
        • 5 more ways to show your children love
        • 5 questions you need to ask your hubby before you have a baby
        • 5 signs you have kids together but you’re not a family
        • 5 steps to picking kid-friendly pets at any age
        • 5 tips on fighting fair with your teen
        • 5 tips on offering advice to adult children
        • 6 dreams parents have for their children that are secretly damaging them
        • 6 mixed messages society sends about fatherhood
        • 6 signs you’re a better mom than your own mother
        • 6 simple rules for having a happy home
        • 6 ways not to ruin your baby’s name
        • 7 signs you’re a co-dependent parent
        • 7 ways you are ruining your child’s life
        • 8 parenting mistakes you don’t have to make
        • 8 realities of growing up in a large family
        • 8 telltale signs of a remarkable father
        • 8 ways to give your baby a creative name
        • 9 things you should never say in a fight with your child
        • 10 things moms do that are super annoying
        • 10 things parents need to know about their highly sensitive child
        • 10 tips to help your child succeed in life
        • Helping kids cope with the realities of privilege
        • How parents of teens can compete with technology
        • How to teach children to be less judgmental
        • Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships
        • When is the right time to have a child
      • Breakups & Divorce >
        • 5 reasons we keep coming back after breakups
        • 5 more reasons we keep coming back after breakups
        • 5 ways to escape the make-up/break-up cycle
        • 5 ways to avoid a tasteless breakup
        • 5 things to tell your friends after you go through a breakup
        • 6 reactions to being dumped from a casual relationship
        • Should you stay friends after it ends
        • 5 ways to stay civil through a divorce
        • 5 clues when your divorce comes out of the blue
        • 5 things divorce will NOT fix
        • 7 basic situations that can quickly lead to divorce
        • 10 more things divorced men have in common
        • 10 things divorced men have in common
      • Abuse & Red Flags >
        • 3 more signs he's trying to manipulate you emotionally
        • 3 signs he's trying to manipulate you emotionally
        • 4 emotionally abusive behaviors you probably think are normal
        • 4 more emotionally abusive behaviors you probably think are normal
        • 4 signs his love is really jealousy
        • 5 signs of gaslighting
        • 5 ways to recognize manipulation
        • 9 ways to tell if he’s lying to you
        • How to recognize emotional abuse
      • Friendship >
        • 5 signs you might be a bad friend
        • 5 signs you’re that annoying married friend
        • 5 ways to be a better friend
        • 6 bad habits of good friends
        • 8 ways to stay close to your girlfriends after getting married
        • How to break up with a friend
        • How to find and keep your soul mates
        • How to tell a girlfriend she’s being cheated on
        • The 5 friend types EVERY girl needs
        • 4 types of toxic friends
      • Personal Growth >
        • 5 lies you should stop telling today
        • 5 signs that bad habit has become an addiction
        • 10 ways to find your gentle side
        • Dealing with betrayal
        • Get a grip! Tips on taking anger by the horns
        • Happiness is a journey, not a destination
        • How to deal with your detractors
        • How to overcome the pitfalls of people pleasing
        • The secrets of pursuing peace in times of conflict
      • Social >
        • 5 innocent questions you actually shouldn't ask
        • 5 tips for detecting lies
        • 5 tips on tackling ignorance
        • 5 ways to help someone control anger
        • 5 ways to find kindness for people who are not your friends
        • 6 tips for giving the perfect apology
        • 7 reasons why people lie
        • 8 ways to continue learning
        • Accepting others
        • Growing generous families
        • Hey be nice
        • How to communicate with a narcissist
        • Showing compassion
        • Showing empathy
        • Teaching gratitude
        • Treat others how you want to be treated
        • How to overcome the pitfalls of people pleasing
      • Health >
        • 5 tips on dealing with your spouses alcoholism
        • 5 ways to go 5 days without showering
        • 5 ways to protect your kids from childhood obesity
        • 6 things you should never say to someone with depression
        • 3 game changing kids' smoothies with hidden veggies
        • Easy solutions for your child's food allergy
        • 8 reasons you're not losing weight
        • How to pick healthy snacks when cravings attack
        • How to rally your family to fight addiction
        • Quick tips for battling the blahs
      • Faith >
        • 3 amazing ways to stay faithful
        • 3 ways to have faith in your marriage and avoid divorce
        • Be proud of your beliefs
        • Helping you children develop a relationship with God
        • How we can overcome fear
        • Navigating the line between hope and denial
        • Teaching kids daily spirituality
    • WriteSpike
    • Daily Motivation
    • HOPE for Women
    • Medium
    • Happy Daughter >
      • Finding Your Spiritual Center During Times Of Uncertainty
      • 3 Ways To Stay Grounded When Everything’s Up In The Air
      • 3 Easy Ways To Keep Great Connections In Quarantine
      • 3 Easy Drink Recipes To Help You Keep Calm And Carry On
      • Let’s Talk Birth Control Options
    • Pour Toi >
      • Pour Toi
    • KinBox
    • Alive 65 >
      • Alive65
      • Social >
        • Late in Life Parenting
        • More on Late in Life Marriage
        • More on Late in Life Parenting
        • Late in Life Dating
        • Late in Life Marriage
        • Living with Family Later in Life
        • 10 Ways to Stay Fit With Your Grandkids
        • 5 Ways a Pet Can Save Your Life
        • 5 Ways to Expand Your Spiritual Family
        • 5 Ways to Deal with Grief and Loss
      • Diet >
        • 5 Easy Ways to Control Sugar and Stay Satisfied
        • 4 More Ways to Cut Carbs and Stay Satisfied
        • 4 Easy Ways to Cut Carbs and Stay Satisfied
        • 5 Easy Ways to Kick Start Your Weight Loss Plan
        • 6 Super Easy Tips to Help Get in Your Greens
        • 3 Keys to Going Gluten-Free
        • 5 Easy Ways to Cut Dairy from Your Diet
        • 8 Easy Ways to Get More Protein and Stay Strong
        • 5 Tasty Tips for Quick & Easy Energy
      • Health >
        • Top 5 Teas That Help Your Health
        • 6 Tasty Ways to Boost Your Immunity
        • Top 5 Not Teas That Help Your Health
        • Drink Yourself Healthy - 6 DIY Ways to Stay Well
        • 6 Superfoods that Help Boost Immunity
        • 6 Great Ways to Ease Your Stress
        • 6 More Ways to Ease Your Stress
        • 8 Natural Paths Better Sleep
    • Boomers On... >
      • Spice Up Your Life
      • Turmeric
      • Goodness, Greatness, Ginger!
      • Time for Tea
      • The Magic of Matcha
      • Chia
      • The Benefits of Lemon
      • An Apple A Day
      • 20 Easy Wheat-Free Noodles
      • Master Tonic
      • Coconut Oil
      • Natural Beauty
    • Koshas
    • Haunted MTL
  • Books
    • WHO AM I? >
      • WHO AM I?
      • WHO AM I? DECODED
      • ARE YOU LISTENING?
      • Alternate Ordering
    • Alchemy.
  • Shop
  • Hire
    • Writing
    • Lyrics
    • Model
  • Contact

​10 Terrible Reasons to Have a Baby

With so many amazing reasons to bring an innocent child into this world, it’s a wonder too few are actually considered when the crucial question is asked. While overall the rate of unintended pregnancy has fallen in the U.S. in recent years, 36-55% of pregnancies remain unintended. This leaves 45-63% of pregnancies still being planned. But planning a pregnancy doesn’t mean the child is truly wanted, or has been conceived for altruistic reasons. 

Unfortunately, there are still many terrible reasons to plan and have a baby. Here are 10 reasons that may sound understandable at the outset, but are actually less than stellar excuses to create a life.

1. To Keep Your Partner 
Getting pregnant on purpose is a poor way to try to save your relationship. If your partnership is already on the rocks there is little having a baby can do to correct course. It is understandable that someone may think there is no better motivator in the world to get things on the right path than creating an innocent life to guide the way. But there is no guarantee this life will keep your wayward partner from straying or engaging in their bad behavior. 

By the same token, intentionally planning a pregnancy in order to save your marriage puts the focus on the new bundle instead of the issues between you and your spouse. Counseling is needed in these cases to find the underlying causes for the turmoil and strife in your love life. Only once the problems are discovered and dealt with should baby talk take place.  

2. To Prove Your Love
There are so many great ways to prove your love and loyalty to a displeased partner; having a baby is not one of them. A child is not a representation of the feelings of its parents, but a blessed opportunity to foster the next generation. Babies are not commodities; they deserve respect for their own individual needs and desires.  When you have a baby to prove your love to your partner or spouse you are making the most significant decision of your lives ultimately about yourselves, when it should be about what’s best for you baby.

3. To Prove Your Womanhood
Unfortunately, many childless women are unduly influenced into think they are incomplete or unfulfilled as women until they bear children. Even if a woman knows she has no real desire to parent, she may concede to an internal or cultural influence to have a baby. Taking on such a huge responsibility without the passion needed to dedicate her life to it can be detrimental for both mother and child; leaving the new mom feeling stifled and the child feeling unwanted.


4. The Alibi Baby
Because procreation and child rearing are such an integral part of most cultures, and represent some instance of normalcy, those who do not fit squarely into traditional society may conceive a child to fend off unpleasant rumors. Sterility can be devastating for both men and women, and someone who does not truly wish to become a parent may choose this route simply to prove they are biologically capable; and therefore a normal and complete person. In the same vein, those in the closeted LGBTQ community may marry and have a child to try to perpetuate the illusion of being heterosexual; and therefore a normal and complete person (at least in the eyes of their community or family). A child need not be born into lies, or the veneer of an undesired life.

5. Keeping Up Appearances
The illusions babies can provide continue when rocky marriages need to appear solid, or politicians need to appear relatable. New babies soak up attention and can deflect the penetrating gaze of onlookers who may see reality a little too clearly. 

6. Government Benefits
Babies are big business. And state programs ensure they will be cared for, at least in part. But some women take advantage of this safety net and put undue strain on the system to keep from caring for themselves. I personally know of two women who intentionally claimed ignorance on the known fathers of their children to collect benefits from the government. In truth, many divorced career homemakers are not being properly supported by their exes and have no desire or real ability to work outside the home. In such cases, creating a new life to take care of the old ones could become a reality to someone low on options. But this doesn’t make it a good reason.

7. To Do Your Duty
Many cultures go beyond passive expectation and put palpable pressure on a woman to procreate. Child rearing is seen as her social, marital and biological obligation. She may even be harassed or ostracized for not fulfilling her earthly duties. She is seen as selfish, heartless and less than a true woman until she bears a child. Several religions demand every capable woman have kids, and/or forbid the use of birth control to all but ensure pregnancy. And even if your community or faith doesn’t insist you have a baby, your husband or family may. Don’t let guilt trip up your life plan and shame you into conceiving a child you don’t truly want.

8. Elder Care
Many traditional and rural cultures take a utilitarian approach to child rearing. China is infamous for requiring adult children to take care of their elders. This creates a system that encourages couples to have kids they do not want simply so there is someone in the family to assist them in old age. For better or worse, westernization is challenging this tradition and more industrialized ways to care for elder parents has a strong hold in North America. Creating a life who is obligated to you in age old is not a good reason to have a child.


9. Replacement Child
Losing a child is probably the most devastating experience any person could go through. The opportunity to regain a piece of what was lost may make having another baby an attractive option. But filling the hole that a passed child leaves can never truly happen. A new child can fill a house with joy, excitement and love again, but there is no replacing what was lost. Having a new life will not mask the pain of letting go of the old one. And every child deserves to be born because they are wanted, not because their parents want something they can never have. 

10. Savior Sibling
Similarly, some parents of sick kids feel they must have a second child to save the first. Certain forms of cancer, anemia, organ failure or other illnesses can leave parents desperate for a genetic match they themselves may not be able to make. Donor lists are backed up and have long waits; there is no guarantee the child will be alive by the time a match is found. It may be a hard truth to face, but signing up a sibling to be a medical miracle for your first born is an unfair fate no baby should have to face. If you were planning on having a second child regardless of the first child’s illness, and are not prescribing years of pain and hospital stays for your second born, expanding your family may not be so bad. But if this new baby’s main purpose is to save their sister or brother, you may be trudging into muddy moral territory. 

Based on the 2004 novel by author Jodi PIcoult, the 2009 theatrical release of “My Sister’s Keeper” chronicles a teen’s lawsuit against her parents for the right to her own body after being charged with saving her ailing sister. Although a fictional tale, the “genetically engineered child” debate closely resembles the stories of the Ayala and Nash sisters; both of whom were born to save their elder siblings.

When it comes to having a baby the planning process can be just the tip of the iceberg, but it’s often the most important part of a long line of choices. Many do not truly think of a child as the person they will become, only as a means to an end or life currency. A child is precious and needs to be seen as an independent soul with their own life to live, destiny to fulfill and dreams to achieve. Satisfying an expectation, avoiding ostracization, or attaining the immediate and future social or material gains of having a baby should be low down on the list, if considered at all. 
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.